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『小舞自慰』介紹:OwenandJamieareapairofnobodieswhopreventglobaldisasterswiththehelpofatime-transientcivilservant.Owen,acaretakeratthelocalschool,isapproachedbyashadowyfigurenamedMelvinwhilelockinguponeday.Melvinappointshim’CaretakeroftheWorld...BrightonandHoveDivision’.ButisthisMelvinreallyacivilservantfromthefutureorjustamadtramp?Aftersomehagglingoverascooter,JamieagreestobeOwen’ssidekickandsotheirmissionbegins:Thisinvolvestheconfiscationofsomehomebrewedbeerwhich,accordingtoMelvin,willbecomecontaminatedin2013.CuriouslyMelvinneedsitbroughttohiminorderto’process’it.